The Void..

Today : 19th day without her. At times I am unable to accept that she is no longer with us. It all happened so suddenly that we still cannot fathom the truth. She slipped from our hands so quickly: it’s unbelievable .We all know that it's Allah's will and it cannot be undone. Life's unpredictability is felt closely if you lose a loved one. This incident hit me about this temporary life and I felt this reality so strongly that I can't put it into words. Everything seems useless as nothing can help me bring her back .It’s our emaan(faith)which has given sabar(strength) to us (all three siblings). Every passing day ,we live with this ray of hope (and faith )that if we do good deeds and pray for her in our life, we will definitely meet her in Jannah, InshaAllah.. She was a gem of a person. So simple yet so elegant. She had a class of her own, mashaAllah. Whether it was religion or any worldly affair, she excelled in all. She taught us a lot of things which were left unnoticed at that time but after her death, it all made sense .Now, we want to follow everything she would guide us over. Using the word 'dead' for her makes me shiver. The idea of losing her was always haunting but it never dawned on me that I would have to go through the feeling of losing her so soon in my life. Allah swt has His own ways of teaching us about life, testing us and ultimately bringing us close to Him. Maybe for us He chose this way. We are content with Allah's decision because as we are always told that our life is Allah's amanah and we all have to go back to Him one day but it’s the void. The void is there and would remain there forever. No one can take her place because no one is even a speck near in perfection to how she was. She was a different woman. I have never met someone like her, ever .Even as her daughter, I don't remember hearing anything negative about anyone from her end of/for others. She was a lady with a warm-smiling face who was very quiet, thoughtful, thankful and God fearing .I have never heard her complain about anything in life. Always thanking Allah for His countless blessings bestowed on her. My brothers often narrate how numerous people attended her janazah mashaAllah, so much so that the mosque was entirely full. What more can a person ask for -Alhamdulillah. Whoever met her, even if for once, would remember her smiling face and her quiet nature. She was loved by everyone and I am certain Allah swt also loved her a lot hence she was called earlier. My best friend, my mentor, my guide, my sister: she was my everything .I have endured through the fact that I’ve lost a part of myself but at every step I am thankful to Allah swt for uplifting my spirits and granting me strength through this .Distinct: its unlikely to meet any one even close to her nature, her self. No one can be like her. I will always miss her: every second of my life and will love her more with every passing second. Losing a mother isn’t easy but Allah swt teaches you to live without one. He aids you with special strength to live without your loved one .May Allah swt raise her ranks in jannat ul firdaus and may Allah swt bless her with a place in barzakh where He keeps His beloved,May Allah SWT make us a sadqa e jariah for her forever inshaAllah.ameen! I miss you Ammi! The void is felt every second but I know you are happy up there InshaAllah! I love you Ammi!